30day journal – taking a risk 

The last 2 days I haven’t felt very brave when I journaled. I prepare lots of pages in advance with spare paint and scraps of paper. This feels safe – I enjoy tearing up my old flyers, the colours are ones I love ,so I feel very comfortable using them. 
Day 8 , I made patterns and kept layering adding found words and an awkward looking model, dressed in clashing colours and textures – she suited how I feel regularly – gauche – though I wouldn’t wear clashing fabric . So I am projecting on to her. 
Day 9, I tore my flyers into finer strips and layerd over some prints and hand drawn mandalas. I could have finished there but the page wasn’t talking to me – I did enjoy the colours and textures though 

  

I added loads of found text and images of girls – different sizes and different coloured skin – it was very messy .The background didn’t pull everything together like it had in day 8. I decided to leave it. I had added the quotes without really engaging with them . 

  
I awoke at 4.30am – I have been trying to stick to a very simple diet but had succumbed to a polenta cake. I was wide awake and hot and bothered.I decided to take a risk and add some more layers to day 9. It didn’t really work and was too busy – the white didn’t knock the background back as I had hoped.

  
 I added my favourite teal as a varnish. Then I decided to attack it with a scritty( an abrasive kitchen sponge). This has had its precedents- when I work with wax resist and watercolour – I regularly bleach and scrub work in the shower. However there is always a risk that you will loose everything ….. 

  
When I worked intuitively with My friend Deb we painted over the top of very busy pieces with white – I fancy drawing some large letters and blanking out the background. I can’t decide on ‘is it worth it’ , ‘brave’ , ‘courage’ , or just ‘take a risk …. ‘ 

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